I AM THE HAPPIEST when I feel absolutely terrific about myself when I am in control of every aspect of my life, when I know when to say yes and when to say no to my delight.

On my recent trip through Europe I met many of my "old" Swiss friends, now honored grandmothers like I am. They each enjoy their life according to their priorities and their choices. Some like to dedicate their time to helping their sons and daughters live a financially more comfortable lifestyle while taking little or no time for themselves. Others are creative with handicrafts and amuse themselves with exciting hobbies, practice sports and travel the world, but especially they take time for being themselves.

Carla is in her fifties and lives in the Italian part of Switzerland. She too is a grandmother of her daughter’s son. For more than ten years Carla came to my house when I lived in Lugano, to iron our laundry and to help me in our large household. She is a lovely dedicated lady. Her naturally undulated black hair and dark brown eyes bring out her Italian origin. Though she lives many years in Switzerland, she kept her charming accent of southern Italy.

Carla works hard as a housekeeper of three big apartment houses. Daily she cleans from early morning to late in the evening including her own house to keep the family budget in an abundant flow. Her husband, also Italian, a professional electrician, is since years without a job. He assists her in the heavy garden and pool maintenance tasks. Beside all this Carla brings up her eight-year-old grandson John, son of her divorced daughter. The little boy is so full of spit and vinegar that he is a challenge for grandma. While her daughter goes to school to improve her salary, it became a matter of fact that grandma bring up vivacious John. Little she can say to the spoilt youngster as he is the boss.

"I need time for myself to relax," Carla sighed frowning, with one eye smiling and one eye crying. "I like to love and spoil my only grandson, but I want to say Yes or No to my daughter when it pleases me." Carla asked for advice. I shared the following story with her:

Patricia is a student of the University of Healing, a queen who knows how to live in her inner kingdom. She is a happy grandmother and makes her choices in life to her satisfaction. Her uninhibited way of doing things reflect her regal body expression, how she comports herself chin up, tummy in how straight she walks, how definite she talks and how much she respects herself. Determined in her decisions, she creates her life to her pleasure.

Patricia trained herself early. She and her seven children moved to the United States leaving Guyana just shortly before her husband passed away. Here she stood alone in a foreign country challenged to feed and educate her angels by herself. Night and day she worked for her fledglings, putting all seven through college and this with great success. Today each represents a high position in their profession and is a lovely parent.

Patricia now in her sixties, is a fulfilled grandmother of eleven magnificent grandchildren. She could have her hands full caring for one or the other now living all over the world. However, Patricia lives her principles. She loves herself; she respects herself and appreciates the time she takes for her meditations and spiritual studies. Besides all she is a dynamic minister living the words of Jesus: love your neighbor as yourself!

Daily Patricia blesses her four sons and three daughters and her genius grandkids and surrounds her family in her pure white light of love the greatest gift with which she enriches them. Whenever it pleases her, she is there to play and spoil them with her sparkling, sunny personality.

Patricia knows when to say YES or when to say NO! She stands up for her decision as it pleases her. She said: "It always pays off to be honest to myself!"

One day, one of her daughters asked her to baby-sit their three-year- old son.

"We are going to a party," the daughter explained.

"Which party you are going?" Pat was curious to know.

"Fred’s and Irene’s 25th anniversary, the daughter answered, pointing to the one Holiday Inn Hotel around the corner.

"I’m sorry," Patricia, replied with ready wit, "I’m going to the same party!"

Carla looked at me with perplexed eyes, helplessly folding her hands in front of her face.

"She really dared to speak up like this, I wish I could do this," Carla mumbled to herself, intimidated by her own attitude.

"What a courageous lady Patricia must be! What would my daughter think if I would act so," she still was concerned.

That’s easy; I smiled while patting her on her shoulder.

Your daughter thinks what you think for you create her according to your positive or negative thoughts. The simplest way of any perfect achievement is to tickle your inner laughing place and sing and affirm the truth about yourself: I LIKE ME! I LIKE ME, I LIKE ME! You will align with the truth and have that selfconfidence to make your perfect decisions. Your new attitude will reflect on your daughter’s life and on all those around you. Your whole world will be joy and happiness because you stand up for what YOU want. Being sincere to yourself is being true to yourself and to all your creation.

Yes, Carla, I added. Pat went to the party. She danced through the night just like you told me you like to do. The difference is that you dream about it while she acts upon her dreams.

We are royals just like Pat. We walk with crowned head and see everyone wearing their tiara of divinity.

Whatever game I play, child, teenager, married or not married, mother, father or grandparents, I know when to say YES or NO to my delight.

Today is my first day: I stand up for who I am!

Dr Ellen Jermin

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