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GIST - May 2002 Issue
Integrity, the light switch on my way

Ellen      INTEGRITY IS ONE of my most soul stirring concepts concerning my spiritual journey. A synonym of integrity is the word honesty. When I speak of integrity or honesty, I refer to my original purity, my childlike innocence in which I live in wholesomeness as spirit mind and body. I am one as all.
     In my human game I once had the tendency to worship great beings--such as saints, heroes, illumined masters--for their special conduct of life.
     Throughout history I could see how they stood up for principle following their inner knowingness. Such fabulous creatures live untouched by any physical challenges, theirs was an introspective life. Though it often appears, seen only from the human point of view that their challenges were a living hell, it is not so. Their integrity shines forth their state of cosmic consciousness--as they think pure thoughts, speak loving words and do gentle actions. That is why it is easy to put them on a pedestal to worship them as an ideal.
     In truth the respect and reverence I have for anyone of my creation, is the true admiration I have for myself. I see what I am! I like me. I like my creation!

My Awakening

     ONE DAY I woke up from my former traditional religious belief of being a sinner to the awareness of being a winner. My eyes opened like the rising morning sun beaming over the green lush hillsides. With integrity I stood up for my new understanding of myself feeling happy and free in what I am. My inner knowingness lifted my spirit to unconditional love towards myself and my entire world. My life changed in an unbelievable way, it made a turn of 180 degrees.
     I switched on my inner light to the sign of truth: I AM GOD, GOD I AM.
     Accepting myself as God is what Jesus and all great teachers shared, it is not blasphemous. To NOT accept myself as God that is sacrilegious. The serious part of this statement of truth is that NOW I am responsible. No longer can I blame other beings for things that affect my life. I am aware that I am responsible for my thoughts, words and deeds knowing that they are the causes, which bring all effects. No longer do I allow any buts, hopes, perhaps, nor any words reflecting dualism or doubt in my vocabulary. The holy words, I am God, God I am, are now illuminating my consciousness as an everlasting white light.
     With integrity I live my new understanding and stand up for my belief. When fifteen years ago I proudly said to my husband Helios (who last week passed away) "You know, you are God, I am God, everyone is God," he wisely answered, "I am glad you found out too." Today as he appears not being physically visible, I am blessed in the awareness of his eternal life, my mirror of everlasting beingness.
     God in me is the answer fulfilling my integrity of being ME!
     There is no other affirmation more powerful or more onepointed on my path to my reality than this simple statement: I am God. It is the cause which overwrites any previous cause and lets me live in the here and now.

God Is All There Is

     IS GOD ALL there is? Is there only ONE, one mind, one consciousness, one God? I learned in kindergarten and even in the Catholic Church that if I do not accept God as ONE living spirit, absolute, selfexistent beingness, indivisible, unlimited, I do not believe in God the allness, the totality, everlasting life. I deny the unchangeable truth, I deny my reality and believe in a co-creator, which means duality. To believe in God a dualistic being, is not bad; it simply limits me in who I am. It limits my inner wisdom, being omniscient and my openness on my spiritual journey. I am God and live it quietly.
     How does this all interweave with integrity?
     My integrity is my foundation on my spiritual journey--how honest and sincere I am with myself. I can play the game of being human or divine, emotional or untouched, humanly caring or unconditionally loving, being judgmental or nonjudgmental, it is MY choice alone of whatever game I choose to play.
     Years ago I wrote a letter to my church in Europe, telling them that I now leave the Catholic Church for my new philosophical understanding-- standing up for my integrity. Their response was beautiful, wishing me the highest and best on my spiritual journey. I created a harmonious switch and woke up to a new ME. I started to enjoy my own company, singing and dancing on my own.
     I am God. All is God! As God I speak my word for anything and everything I want to experience. To heal my human limiting thinking, I train myself in being NONJUDGMENTAL, without comparison, living in unconditional love. My loving thoughts toward my creations and myself are the light switch to illumine my spiritual journey. I am enjoying life by being myself and having fun facing all selfcreated tests with selfconfidence and integrity.
     A few days ago I received a significant email from Australia just in the moment I faced a challenging test. The text confirmed the truth and strengthened my integrity:
     "Believe in thyself. Follow your heart with conviction. Do not allow the outside world to oppose your ideals regardless how well a meaning it might portray. All is possible only if you think so! "The world will freely offer itself to you unasked. It has no choice. It also will roll in ecstasy at your feet."
                                                                                                            --Franz Kafka

     I am grateful to the sender who tuned into the universal consciousness and sees, with me, beyond all illusions.


-Dr Ellen Jermini