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GIST - February 2003 Issue
Me, Obsequious


     HOW PURE CAN I get? Can I always live with pure thoughts? Can I demand of myself that every thought I think and every word I utter is absolutely positive and uplifting--illustrating the truth about me and my creation in my world? Am I strong enough to immediately speak the truth when my creation around me may be looking at the appearances and admitting that these illusions are the reality of all life? It is not an easy undertaking, nor is it a difficult task. When I am master of myself then as a master consciousness I live up to this in my everyday life. I choose it and I would work at it! 

My Self-inflicted Burden

     EVERYONE LIVING IN the Absolute Monastery is learning to live in this awareness of purity of consciousness. Each one is my creation. They do not necessarily like having this burden placed upon them, yet they singularly chose all of it and they are giving their very best to be consistent with the positive truth of their lives.
     I jump down their necks every time I hear anything which smacks of obsequiousness, for I too learned a false humility as a child and as an employee of life. I learned that I should love and do for my neighbors before I even consider doing anything for myself. This subservientism brooded for as long as there was more than one person to whom humanity had to pay obeisance and an utterly disgusting fawning attentiveness resulted.
     I responded to my competitive peers, my parents, other adults and my teachers with an obsequiously selfbelittling attitude which made them feel superior to me in every possible way; whereas, I actually was the brilliant genius but I did not know it. These attitudes create a society of sheep, followers and slaves to the will and direction of others. It is surprising that any leaders could emerge from such an inhibitive upbringing. 
     It is a condition I have suffered under and when threshed sufficiently I did not even realize that this nothingness is not natural. I live in a society of like experiences, manipulation and control by the authority figure, big brother and the like and I am so accustomed to such treatment I call it natural—just the way it is.
     I am ready to step out of that mold into which my life was poured all too readily. I am ready to speak the truth about myself and demonstrate it in my life experience.
     Obsequiousness get thee behind me, I am ready to soar!
     How will I manage this new direction for myself when I have been so habituated to the old ways of living and acting?
     One thing is for certain: I will not get rid of the old ways, they are here to stay. 
What I can do is to build an entirely new structure in which I live move and have my being. This structure is fabricated out of my thoughts. This structure is founded upon the truth of my being that I am God, I am the creator of my world, and I am the one who directs the theater of my being on this stage of life. 
     All is an illusion, so then I may as well select a beneficial illusion and give it body and life in the authenticity of this new reality. 
Should I tend to think I must usher out the old illusion I empower it with my attention. Anything I empower I give it rebirth in my life and experience. Anything I give life and experience to I own, it is mine, and it is my expression of my allness. As I keep on giving it empowerment, it grows into the monster I empower it to be.

Turn On The Magic

     I TURN ON THE MAGIC and bring forth the hidden reality within. I turn on the magic by enunciating it with every thought, word and action I express. I live what I believe about myself. What is it that I believe about myself? Do I believe what I have been taught, or is there an inner voice that cries out: You are more than you appear to be. Is there an inner voice clamoring to set the "world on fire" with beautiful new ideas and concepts that will uplift and bless my world, my creation! I believe it is the voice of magic in me waiting to shine forth.
     I access this inner voice by listening to it--that is all there is to it--just listen to it.
     I listen to my inner voice by silencing the outer world’s clamor. In quietness and expectation I allow the imaginative creative innerself shine forth as beautiful ideas, as constructive thoughts, as beneficial wisdom which delights me and enchants the world about me. What a glorious new way of looking at life. Wow! Had I ever thought before such excellence were possible I would not be so long in expediting this new direction into my world.
     The magic of the silence is beyond anything I have ever known. The silence has a charm and secretiveness about it that captivates me as I make this inner jaunt into a more happy existence.
     It is not a matter of sitting long hours in quietness. Just as just-playing with my children is not quality time, it is only when I get involved with my child and care deeply about "his" world and "his" dreams and desires, then I have a meaningful time with my child. So just sitting forever in a prayerful position is not quality time in introspection and listening to the magical essence within, to God in me as me.
     I have been told that it is important to have a prayerful attitude if I want to be heard by God. How false that is. I am God! I am the creator of my universe. I speak to my innerself whenever I go into introspection, meditation, listening within or whatever term I wish to give this eventful journey to the center of my being. 
     To get the benefit from going within, I make it a fun time. I make it a time of miracle gathering. I take my notebook with me and write in it the various attitudes I feel as I listen to my divineself. I am alert to all of the fun ideas that flash into my thinking. I am alert to all of the unusual and far-out concepts which mock my sanity, which destroy my logic and reasoning. God in me as me knows neither reason nor logic, nor limitation of any kind. God in me as me is my unlimitedself seeking to express itself in ways I never dreamed possible and certainly not something my finite mind could fathom. I should not believe this old propaganda. That is the essence of yesterday’s hype. Today is a new moment, a new experience and a new life. It is the now I awaken to in my inner reality. 
     I can walk around, jog, run, dance, leap for joy, swim, climb mountains, listen to wordless music that lifts my spirit--all this I can do and listen to the voice singing within my soul. My innerself is a happyself. My inner beingness is filled with joy and romance, life and vitality, imagination and creativity. I am the unlimited essence of the universe, but I am not limited to the universe which I know, I soar beyond all boundaries, beyond all knowness into the knowableness which lies before me eager to reveal itself to me as me. This is the essence of introspection, of meditation, of listening to my divineself soaring from the very heart of me.
     I can and do teach myself to let go and let my divineself be itself in and through me, unlimited. I train myself through letting my creative imagination rise into heights which only an idiot or savant would know, and I know it now.
I delight in the mystical magic of my thought as I listen within. I am enlivened with vitality and charisma which oozes out of me from every fiber of my being. My creation vibrate to my shining countenance and sing and smile with me. I do not ask for it or expect it; it just takes place all of its own accord.
So the wisdom, brilliance, knowledge and revelations which spring forth from my listening within do not surprise me nor does it even, in a way, illumine me--it is the most natural thing in the world--I feel that I knew it all along. I am so saturated with my inner revelations that I am one with the allness and am, in a manner of speaking, conscious that I am one with the allness.
     What do I hear now that I am free from the consideration that my creation are superior to me and that I have so much to learn? What I hear first is peace which has neither voice nor picture. It is an isness that permeates all and is inclusive in the allness. I do not feel a need to do anything for I am everything. I live in a sense of wellness, order and balance. These are not things that I can put my finger on for it just is.
     No mind numbing nor mind boosting, drug nor narcotic, could enhance my thinking as does introspection. I am always aware of my innerself and my outerself. I am conscious of everything when I am in introspection, when I am in creative meditation.

I Am Michelangelo

     WHEN I AM FULLY in introspection, I am Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel. The cold wet, the dripping paint, the scaffolding shaking beneath me, the talking of my assistants, the constant irritations of the Pope advising me of my work to be done—I am untouched. I am alive in my inner thought, in my divine consciousness where the cosmic story of creation and the ambitious adventure of bible times roar through my thinking as a thrilling dynamic movie on a gigantic screen of the ceiling. Before I paint it, I live the total larger-than-life epic stretching across the seemingly endless vault of the chapel.
     This is a master consciousness enthralled in introspection, living it every moment of my creative life. I am a man of scruples, a man of morals, a man of integrity, a man of dignity, a man of compassion, and a man in tune with the vibrations of the universe harmoniously reporting them on the canvas of the chapel’s ceiling living as a faultless memento of my understanding of the Bible story.
     This is my consciousness. This is the inner man being myself. This is the essence of all life expressing through me because I chose to dream, I chose to wonder, I chose to dive deeply into introspection so completely that I had no other choice than to take the magic of my soul and pour it out on the greatest canvas of my life. What my creation does I do. How my creation thinks I think. The source of my creation’s magic is the source of my magic. How well I have prepared myself as an instrument to reveal this magic is entirely up to me. I know the mission to reveal my inner genius, my inner divinity, my realself stands forth before me waiting to be etched into the mosaic of my experience here on Earth. No one will make a montage such as pours forth from my innerself, from my innerbeingness, from my divine nature. I am unique.
     I can do this. I do do this. I am this. I live this. I am illumined in my awareness of this. I live the excitement of life through introspection where I am untouched, nonpossessive, nonjudgmental and onepointed. Each of these virtues takes practice. When I have practiced sufficiently, each virtue is my nature and I live it and my life is its continual practice or expression or manifestation.
     I do not compare myself to my creation as a meditator or as one who is in introspection. I introspect to my divine best.
     Miracles flood my life. Part of them are beautiful expressions of an inner magnificence. Part of them are a test of my attitude toward the world I created and how it handles me justly or unjustly, I make no judgment of this, I know who and what I am and I am, untouched.
     This attitude comes through selfdiscipline, selfdedication, selfdetermination and selfdiligence practiced diligently throughout my life. 
     The inner voice, the symphony of my innerself, the peace of mind which is mine at all times sees me through any seemingly difficult of irregular experience. I know nothing happens by chance. I know that for everything there is a cause. I also know that a cause is one of selftesting myself to ensure that I move smoothly through all of the adventures I create for the skill of remaining true to myself at all times.
     I see the examples of my creation, the master philosophers and teachers, and I am guided by their suggestion to be myself and have fun--the full purpose of living. Their suggestion to me to be the master of every experience I have whether it be a cross, a rose garden or a life everlasting here and now, this I delight in following and mastering. Smile!

-Dr Herbert L Beierle